Showing posts with label Bonding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bonding. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Using Simple Things for Big Changes



God works in mysterious ways.  He often uses something simple to make big changes and so it was with us. 

Our church pastor had tried for a few years to take my husband to Catalyst in Atlanta and it had never worked out.  In October 2008, it finally worked out and he attended.  He came home changed and different.  He talked about the International Children’s Choir and the children who performed.  As he told me about the children, I said, “Let’s adopt a girl!”

Now we were living the comfortable American dream.  We had two boys, both of us had great jobs, a comfortable bank account, a dog – you know everything Americans “need.”  He said ok and that’s about as far as it went.  I would research adoption agencies off and on again but the cost of adoption made me uncomfortable.  Uncomfortable because I wasn’t willing to use our bank account or sell our stuff to bring a little girl into our family.

Life went on.  My husband kept talking about the conference and about social justice.  I listened and we talked about adoption but that’s as far as it got.

Six months later and it is time for Catalyst West.  We attend and I’m drawn to social justice booths.  I’m drawn to Compassion.  I repeatedly visit their booth and stare at the pictures of the children.  Their empty eyes haunt me.  On our last day there, I tell my husband that we need to sponsor a child.  He says ok and we sign up.  We chose a child based on a frightened, sweet girl with empty eyes. I think to myself, okay God we are doing something now, we’re good, you can leave us alone.

We return home to our comfortable life and God doesn’t leave us alone.  We start talking about adoption again and we both decide after prayer and lots of talking that we should look for an agency.  I research agencies and countries.  We finally narrow it down to our agency and the country.  We chose Ethiopia.  It then dawns on me that our sponsor child is from Ethiopia.  All of a sudden, Ethiopia is all that is on my mind.  I read every fact I can about Ethiopia and orphans. I’m suddenly overwhelmed by the reality.  I then turn to the Bible and study the scriptures to learn about orphans. I am convicted and ready to fight for my daughter.  A daughter that we never had plans for. We had our lives planned with our two boys.  We didn’t want any more children but God had other plans and we chose to follow His ways.

I quickly filled out every form I possibly could and requested every document we would need.  We met with our social worker, we prepared our boys, we read books, we prayed, and finally we sent in our paperwork and were placed on our agency waitlist on 12/11/09. 

During our wait, Ethiopia became a two-trip country. I was devastated and questioned the process and the direction from God.  How were “we” going to pay for another trip? How were we going to be able to afford to take our oldest with us? How were “we” going to work this out? While pouring out all these issues to God and crying to Him, I finally heard Him say that we needed to place this process in His hands.  He had asked us and we had obeyed and now we needed to watch Him work.

God used our amazing home group and church family to raise the additional funds in three months and were fully funded before we received our referral.  Our church family stood beside us and rallied together to raise the needed funds.

We were “on-deck” and knew we could receive our referral call any day.  I was in a meeting with our Advisory Board and the CEO of my company, when the “703” call came. I felt my heart leap out of my chest and I quickly moved out into the hallway. I answered the phone and was asked if we would consider lowering our age range to 0-18 months.  I said absolutely and she told me that I would be hearing from her by the end of the week. Oh.my.gosh! How was I supposed to work?!? I called my husband and told him what had happened and told him that if his phone rang and the area code was 703 that he was to answer it regardless of what was happening at that moment.  I tried to be calm when I walked back into the meeting but it didn’t work.  Luckily I have a boss who understands, who is Christian and was in full support of our adoption.  An hour and a half later, our referral call came – right before another meeting I was supposed to attend.  We waited until we were all home to open the email with her sweet picture and at that moment, we knew she was ours.  I will never forget my boys’ response as they saw Ella’s face. They said, “mom she has brown eyes just like us. She is ours.”

We received our referral about five-six weeks before courts would close.  Our agency told us it could go either way with having court before the rainy season.  I told my husband that we would be in Ethiopia before courts closed.  He told me not to get my hopes up.  We received a call telling us our court date would be October 1 but that they were going to try to get the judge to move it up. I still believed we would hold our daughter in a few short weeks.  Two business days later, we received a call stating we had court before they closed.  We had ONE.WEEK to get to Ethiopia! Needless to say, packing furiously began and we made it. 

We traveled to Ethiopia with our oldest son to meet our daughter.  As they brought Ella Woynshet out, I fell head over heels in love with her. She was so sweet and so chunky. Her big brother instantly loved her. It was amazing to see her with her daddy. I couldn’t wait to get her home and have all three of my children on the same continent.  We spent a week with her and each day fell more and more in love with her.  We passed court and she legally became ours.



We returned home and five weeks later were cleared to bring her home.  Before we left Ethiopia, I told my husband that we would be back and have Embassy on 9/15.  He again told me not to get my hopes up.  I told him they weren’t but that God was going to take care of this.  We returned for “Gotcha Day” on 9/14 and for Embassy on 9/15. Every once in a while, I like to tell him, “I told you so.” J

Remember our child we sponsor through Compassion, the child that God used to start this process? When we returned to pick up our daughter, we made arrangements with Compassion to meet her.  Meeting her was amazing and beyond our wildest imagination.  I’m so thankful that we were able to meet the little girl that God used to lead us to our daughter.

As we approach the end of our first year with Ella, I can tell you it has been the hardest thing we have done as a family but also the most rewarding.  It has been filled with tears and adjustments from all five of us.  I have seen Ella’s eyes change from fearful to joyful and I have seen her light up a room with her smile.  When I see Ella run to her brothers and her brothers run to her after a long day at school, I see love that she wouldn’t have known. I see love that my boys wouldn’t have known.  I see a daddy that wouldn’t be wrapped tightly around an Ethiopian girl’s finger.  I see a baby who didn’t have a family.  I see a Heavenly Father who is true to His promise when He says He sets the lonely in families. (Psalm 68:5-6).

As I rock her at night and hear her sweet voice sing, “Jesus Loves Me” I often think that we could have missed this if we wouldn’t have said yes.

What is God asking you to say yes to? What will you miss if you don’t say yes? I urge you to take that first step and let Him take care of the rest.   He will because He is faithful.


Saturday, February 19, 2011

Five months.....


We've been a forever family for five months today.  Somedays it seems like she was just placed in our arms and somedays it seems like she has been here since birth.

Our sweet Ella has come so far.  When she came home, she didn't sit up really well by herself, didn't babble a whole lot, and was very clingy.  Wouldn't you be the same way if you had been left at four months old?  When I think of that thought, my heart breaks for what my sweet girl went through for the first nine months of her life.  Today marks our five months home, it also marks her being in one home, our home, for longer than she's been anywhere else.  She was with her birthmother for four months, the orphanage in her village and the orphanage in Addis Ababa for six weeks, and our agency transition home for three months.  She has now been with us for five months.  While my heart swells with joy for that milestone, it also mourns.  It mourns a birthmother we will never know. A birthmother we will never be able to thank for her selfless sacrifice. A birthmother that we pray for but long for a face to go with her.  I wonder if Ella looks like her, acts like her.  I wonder and worry about what we will tell our sweet girl when the time comes for her to ask where she came from.  Sure, we can tell her about Ethiopia, the love we have for the country and her people, how our hearts will never be the same because of what we saw and witnessed there but we won't be able to answer the really hard questions because we.don't.know.  That is the really hard, messy part of adoption.

During sweet Ella's time home, she has learned to crawl, sit up, feed herself, walk, say "mama" (my absolute favorite), "dada", has learned to love her family, she loves her brothers, and she has gotten two teeth.  But more than anything, she has learned we are here for her, that we will never leave her, that when I drop her off at the sitter, I will be back. She has learned to trust us.  We are blessed beyond measure that our Heavenly Father chose her for our family.  When I think of His plan for our lives and hers, it blows.my.mind! How he loves us!

I do want you do know that while our story seems easy, there were really, really hard days.  There were days where I held Ella all day because she would panic if I put her down.  I couldn't shower without her outside the shower door and even then, there were days when she would just cry until I picked her up.  There were days when I didn't know if we could go on.  There were days when my bio kids asked, why we brought her sister home.  That hurts to type, but I'm being honest.  There were days when my boys would cry and tell me I only loved Ella.  They didn't understand what had happened to her because they had never been left.  It was hard but looking back, I wouldn't change it.

We are changed because of her, we are changed because of Him.  We are changed because we answered the call. We are changed because we obeyed. We are blessed!  I once heard someone say, "when you answer the call and adopt, you flaunt the face of God to others." It's true. When I see Ella, I see God and my heart swells with joy because I love her so and I love Him so.

Until next time, be blessed.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Three Months.....


When I stop and think that three months ago, our daughter was placed in our arms forever. We received the most precious gift three months ago.  It seems hard to believe it has only been three months because it seems like she has been with us forever. She really has come so far in three months!  Three months ago, she was fussy before/after she ate because she needed her formula switched, she had giardia, she couldn't sit up very well on her own, wasn't crawling, couldn't grasp cheerios to feed herself, the list goes on and on.

Now, she is a happy, healthy girl who her family loves so very much.  She is crawling ALL over the place, standing up and cruising along furniture and wherever else she can.  She loves going into her brothers' bedroom to see what they are doing. She smiles all the time.  She has brought such joy to our home.  We had no idea Ella would have so much personality and we are just blessed and amazed at her.  She is sweet and sassy! She has her brothers wrapped around her little finger as they will do anything for her and are so protective of her.  I absolutely love it!

I'm so thankful for the past three months and seeing the changes in her.  God has been great to us and it really is indescribable the way our family has bonded.  It is evident that God has been at work in our home and continues to be at work.  We wouldn't be where we are if it wasn't for Him.

We miss Ethiopia every day and are so thankful for our time there.  We love the people and the country and really can't wait  until we can return again.  I don't know when we will go again, but I do know that we will be back in Ethiopia one day.  Whether it is for mission work or adoption, only the Lord knows.  I'm excited to see what He wants us to do there and ask for you to pray for us for clarity and wisdom.

As we celebrate our three month Gotcha Day, I'll leave you with a picture of Ella and her brothers. 

Thursday, November 18, 2010

She knows I'm her Momma....


It has become quite apparent over the past few weeks that Ella knows that I am her momma.  It is so sweet and really the best feeling in the entire world!!!

When daddy is off work, the kids stay home with him and work in the shop and hang out at the house.  They have a blast doing it and Ella is learning to enjoy herself with daddy.  However, the minute I come home, she is glued to me!  She has this look where she looks at daddy and lets him know that I am her momma by patting me on the chest or on the back.  It is as if she is saying, "look her daddy, you are pretty cool but this is my momma and she is the best!"  It is undeniably the sweetest thing.  I love how she has bonded with me and she knows that I am coming for her when I am done working and I will not leave her. She lets everyone know that I am hers by patting me and giving them that look.

Thank you Jesus for putting her in our family and blessing our socks off!